I know for a fact that I didn't wake up one morning and say "I want to sell books." I perhaps might have said "I want to be out of debt" or perhaps "I wish Sallie Mae would forget that they own my soul and decide to set me free." One year of college and $30,000 later, I decided to take a break and earn some money for this tyrant, Sallie Mae. The Bookstore was one of many places that I applied to but was the only place that had called me back for an interview. After the brief excitement of being so much closer to money, I realized that my current physical state would deem me undesirable.
My look would be fine at numerous places such as a music store or a carnival. Colored hair, lip rings, eyebrow piercings, size 2 plugs and growing. Also I had clothing that was all bought at Salvation Army, torn to pieces, and then sewed back together. I knew I had to change. In one night I had removed all my piercings and my plugs and dyed by hair a respectable color. I dressed up in my mom's clothes and stood in front of the full size mirror. I didn't feel like I was looking at myself, just an empty shell.
I never noticed until now how the book staff looked at me during my interview. Their eyes were trying to tell me something like "It's not worth it" and "Get out while you still can" but I was too naive to know what the looks meant then. I find myself giving the same looks to people being interviewed now. "Save yourself." It was too late for me. I shook their hand and I was reborn as a bookseller. Somewhere, a bookseller wept for my soul.
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